WARNING FROM THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL (CDC)

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new
virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD).
This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease. Psychological and cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to, inability to accept responsibility for actions, delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor, exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado, a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior, chronic mangling of the English language, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to
incorporate new information, inability to tell the truth, pronounced
xenophobia, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography, and
history, with tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies. The
disease is sweeping Washington DC, trailer parks, and the Red states.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this
malignant disease originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush.