Catspaw! I wonder if you appreciate what you have done to me! I have loved the Bobbie Gentry version for so long... My interpretation was always that Billie Joe knew that the romance between himself and the young lady was doomed, and that after an argument, they had thrown the engagement ring off the bridge. In other, darker moments, I imagined that maybe it was the aborted phoetus that was thrown... Now I shall no longer think of the song as a sad romantic tale...

That is, unless you admit that "The Day that Jubilee the Barrister Jumped Off of Kelli Hatch's Fridge." is just a wind up. It sounds too much to me like a spoof of the Bobbie Gentry song. If you do not, I shall be heartbroken for ever!