The version printed in this threadis a different one to my husband sings that goes

as I come home on the saturday night,as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in my wifes hand,Where my old thing should be
so I called my wife and I said to her will you kindly tell to me,
whats that thing in you right hand where my old thing should be,

your drunk, your drunk you silly old fool, still you canna see,
thats a lovely rolling pin me mother sent to me,
Well its many a day I,ve traveled a hundred miles or more
But bollocks on a rolling pin I,ve never seen before.

As I came home on the sunday night a little before my time,
and down to the cellar I went, me old twelve bore to find.
what game is this? what game is this? the frightened couple asked,
well this is just me old twelve bore as I shot them up the arse.

Well its many a day I,ve traveled a hundred mile or more,
But I,ve never seen two buggars run as fast as that before