Right, Don, the contraption has arrived, and I've had my IT provider weld it to the computer, there is a headset on the desk, and one of them icons on the desktop. Trouble is that there's an instruction manual a centimetre deep sitting on the desk, and I've got a serious dose of Bloke Fear.

I was lucky enough to have a night out in the Natural History Museum in that London last night, for a black tie dinner. I had that nice Sandi Toksvig sitting next to me, who was the star turn. She admitted that wimmin are smarter than men, nothin' startling there, but the example she gave was that if a woman doesn't want a man to read something on her computer, she names the file 'Instruction Manual' safe in the knowledge that it will never be opened.

I suppose I'm going to have to open this ghastly book. Hopefully, this will be the last time I need a keybord9!