My father hit me and criticized me mercilously from the time before I even knew what it all meant. He taught me to loathe myself and to always feel inadequate, incompetent, incapable, and unworthy of the goodies in life. And his treatment of me is no doubt at least a large part of the reason for my depression, if not the whole reason.

I always hoped for the kind of father that I knew other kids had. I would still probably glom onto some father figure if I found someone who I respected who would "have me." It is amazing that I have not become a drug addict or some other kind of social misfit because of the way he treated me.

He has never apologized. He tells me that it is now up to me to get on with my life (despite the fact that the person he made me into has vast difficulties with "getting on with it!"). But I wished him a happy father's day, anyway, because that's the kind of person I am. (I thank my mother for that.) I wish I had some pleasanter father's day thoughts like some of the rest of you.