Hans-Adam II, the Mad Monarch of the imprisoned land known as Liechtenstein, has done it again! Today Liechtenstein defied the world and launched their new Doppelganger VI missile, a deadly weapon capable of carrying a small nuclear bomb. The Doppelganger VI has a range of 3 miles when armed with a nuclear weapon. This means that it is exceedingly dangerous to anyone living in very close proximity to Liechtenstein. It is a clear attempt by Hans-Adam to do one or more of several things:

1. terrorize the entire world
2. terrorize the Swiss town of Buchs
3. terrorize the Austrian town of Feldkirch
4. blackmail the EU into funding the building of a new soccer arena in Liechtenstein
5. annoy the hell out of George Bush
6. make Kim Jong-Il realllly jealous (the Doppelganger VI performed flawlessly, flying exactly 3 miles before touching down right on target in a cow pasture that had been cleared of its livestock to receive the descending missile)

"The Doppelganger VI constitutes a real and present danger toward world peace," said a grim-faced President George Bush. "We will not stand by and allow the world to be blackmailed by this little pissant rogue state, Licked--In-Styne. We are looking at all possible contingencies to disarm Licked-En-Steen and make sure that the Licked-In-Steenians...or whatever the hell they call themselves...are SET FREE from the rule of this madman, Hans-Adam."

Europeans will rest uneasy tonight, with the shadow of the Doppelganger VI looming large in everyone's minds.

Stay tuned for further reports on the crisis...