Ah, but, Gueat Rob you are also forgetting that leap year only falls in February when there is a day in the month beginning with R. Otherwise blackberrying can't start until after the second monsoon when Juicyfruit is aligned with Mars. Thus it was written in the Book of Krills by the Venereal Breed, and it must be true because he read it in the Readers Digestive.

BREAKING NEWS

Quimbert Todge, brother of Derek the idiot, has formally inherited the mantle of village idiot. It was bestowed on him, posthumously, after his abortive attemp to stop the roller coaster by throwing himself on the tracks. The tracks in question formed part of the East Coast mainline and the driver of the 125 could not stop in time, saying that he was distracted by a vision hovering over the nudist camp.

Derek the idiot continues his rollercoaster ride. He is now on trip 9,852 and plans are afoot to celebrate the 10,000 mark. Ride owner, Lumby Smiff, is planning the presentation of a specially illuminated invoice complete with joined up writing.