THE TELEPHONE
As sung by Stan Boreson and Doug Setterberg, 1957
Tune: HONEYCOMB written by Bob Merrill (It was a hit for Jimmie F. Rodgers.)

1. Well, I got a wife and it's kind of funny.
She's an old sourpuss and I call her honey.
Ev'ry time I come home,
There she is on the telephone!
She talk about this and she talk about that.
She always sound like her head is fat,
Got a voice like an old trombone
On the telephone!

CHORUS: Telephone, yakkity yak on the telephone all the time.
What a heck of a life when you got a wife on the T-E-L-E-telephone.
Telephone, yakkity yak on the telephone all the time.
What a heck of a life when you got a wife on the telephone!

2. Hello, Mister Johnson. Have you heard?
Promise you won't say a word.
You know Mrs. Swenson's mink fur coat?
Well, it really came from an old goat!
I saw Mrs. Olson yesterday,
Spending all her husband's pay,
I suppose it's not for me to say,
But she's got a head like a bale of hay! CHORUS

3. When it come to gossip, she really shine,
Number-one talker on the ten-party line.
Got all the news before it's stale,
Like when Hjalmar got drunk and he landed in jail.
Got the whole town mad with her great big yap.
We'd all be happy if she'd close her trap.
You can't get a dial tone on our telephone. CHORUS