Hi Charlie - fond memories of the James Craig shanty session, and of the Loaded Dog with yourself and Brett., whose threads are a modern Samuel Pepys diary. Hope one day you both manage the South East Passage again to down under.

Rowan - the keys are of course hollow and the real plot is to smuggle back out the Ashes, after a diversionary performance in the Long Room at Lords.

As Sandra says, we did purloin a whole reel of genuine red tape, which bundles up our song books - 150 songs satirising bureaucracy from the inside, including appropriately:

Red Tape

As I passed my Branch Head's office
She was praying in trance,
"Please send me some scarlet ribbons
Lovely red tape for my grants.

"Send me endless regulations,
Long delays, catch-22s,
Let no Ministerial whiteboard
Short-cut process, jump the queues."

All the legislative drafters
Had gone home to feed their kids,
And the team designing guidelines
Wouldn't work late, not for quids.

   Searched all night, my heart was aching -
   Just before the dawn was breaking

I peeped in and there they lay
As though from costumes for a dance,
Lovely ribbons, scarlet ribbons,
Lovely red tape for her grants.

   If I live to be a Branch Head
   I won;t know from where by chance

Came those ribbons, scarlet ribbons,
Lovely red tape for her grants.

Which we will happily sing for you in any UK workplace or folk club that cares to have us drop by.

Chris