The Lancashire Liar, Collected by Harry Boardman, from Folk Songs & Ballads Of Lancashire.

Lancashire Liar

In Manchester I saw a crow leave London in a crack,sir.
Flew as far as Saddle-worth wi' Ashton on it's back, sir.

Ch. Indeed, sir, it's true, sir, I've never been given to lie & if you go to Lancashire you'll see the same as I.

I saw a goose from Staleybridge, that caol from Hyde had taken,
It stole a bag from Liverpool filled with Irish bacon.

In Warrington I saw a pig kill near two hundred people,
In Lancaster I saw a dog dance on Leeds church steeple

In Huddersfield I met a bull selling Eccles cakes, sir
In Marsden I met a dead horse going to Oldham wakes,

In Delph I met a flock of sheep had been to rob York
church, sir They brought a hen from Tadcaster in a show to learn to work, sir

At Hurst I saw a peck of birds take Leigh church & shake it,
And drive a horse through Dukinfield with eggs to Rochda' market

In Haslingden I saw a mouse wheel muck through Royton town, sir
In Mossley I met a cat wearing a Knaresboro gown, sir

In Bacup I saw a monkey in Burnley teaching school, sir
In Blackburn it made Wangby cheese, in Colne it chased a fool, sir

At Tyldesley Bank I saw a lamb at Stockport cry a sale,
In Chowbent I saw a horse tried for stealing mutton

At Failworth I saw a turkey rob Prestwich church all over,
At Hull I saw a rabbit chase a hound at Dover

At Radcliff I saw a crow kill near 300 witches
At Bury I saw a tomcat at Bolton selling matches

At Chorey I saw two bullocks in Preston selling oil, sir
At Bath I saw a pigeon take a gaint to Carlisle, sir

At Whitehaven I saw a fly eat a flitch of bacon,
And stick a pig at Cockermouth, in lies I'm not mistaken.

I once saw two dead guinea pigs try which of them was stronger.
I've really told so many lies that I can sing no longer.

Now to conclude & end my song with heart & true goodwill,
sir. If you want a bigger lie than this you can sing it for yourself, sir