With the folk awards on the horizon, and the sound of plastic corks being eased gently from myriad bottles of cheap Chilean red, here's yet another cheap parody. Tune is "Jolly Old Hawk", and it was written while I was in the shower this morning. i reckon that's longer than Seth spent on his.


Jolly white hare and her ears were pink

Now let us sing
Who's going to win the award but me?

Jolly white hare and her ears were pink
Wrote it one night after lashings of drink

I left the pub and I'd had 20 whiskies
Walked home o'er the moor and the hares they were frisky
When I got in, I wrote it all out
Crawled into my bed and promptly passed out

Jolly white hare and her ears were pink
Wrote it one night after lashings of drink

Woke the next morn, there it was on the table
But I had forgot that I'd written this fable,
A traditional tale of a sweet Cornish hare
That turns into a mad bint and gives you a scare

Jolly white hare and her ears were pink
Wrote it one night after lashings of drink

Wrote it one night after 20 libations
Then told a good story to Smooth Operations:
"It's an old Cornish legend from Looe by the shore
That's why the rhymes and the scansion are poor."

Jolly white hare and her ears were pink
Wrote it one night after lashings of drink

The tune I once learnt from an old Devon man
Who travelled the country in his caravan
I memorised each little phrase and each note
But it still sounds like everything else that I've wrote

Now let us sing

Who's going to win the award but me?