CLANCY'S WOODEN WEDDING

Five years ago last Sunday night, Pat Clancy took a wife.
'Twas little Brigit Daly, who would stick to him for life.
He gave a wooden weddin' the event to celebrate,
Sent out invitations to his friends both poor and great.

Each one was supposed to bring a present made of wood.
Some o' the things they brought were bad and some were very good.
It looked as though a lumberyard exploded in the room
When Clancy had a weddin' made o' wood.

Well, there was all kinds o' wood brought into the house that night:
Hard wood, soft wood, kindlin' wood to light,
Wood and wooden shavin's, enough to fill a bed,
Was brought to Clancy's house when he was five years wed.

Now the first one to get there was Clancy's cousin Dan.
He brought for a present a Japanese fan.
Big Tim Maloney, as neat as a pin,
He brought a cradle for to wrap the baby in.

Murphy brought a sawin' horse and Cassidy, a tray.
O'Brien sent a cord o' wood, for which he couldn't pay.
Dillon sent a keg o' beer to keep the spirits up.
Patrick Joseph Murphy sent a wooden bathtub.

There was wood that came from China, wood that came from Spain,
Wood from Jerusalem, across the ragin' main.
Wood that came from Russia, sent by the Czar,
Wood that came from Ireland, enough to build a car,

Wood that came from England, wood that came from Wales,
Wood that came from Scotland, wood that came from jails.
They passed around the whisky and they passed around the ale.
The glasses wasn't big enough. They used a wooden pail.

Everyone was feelin' good. No one was feelin' dry.
All were in their glory and their glory it was high.
Someone asked Clancy would he sing a song.
Clancy said he would, but his voice was gone.

Big Tim Maloney then gave a recitation,
All about the kinds o' wood that grew in every nation.
The whole such a racket, I can't keep it mum.
O'Brien called Maloney an educated bum.

Up jumped Maloney and he hit him such a whack,
He raised up a hump in the middle of his back.
That was the signal and they all commenced to fight.
The women hollered "Murder!" and they said it wasn't right.

Murphy threw the poker and it hit O'Houlihan.
O'Brien threw the kettle, then he threw the fryin' pan.
Patrick Joseph Murphy through the window dove.
Maloney sat down on a red-hot stove.

All kinds o' wood was a-flyin' through the air.
Brady hit O'Grady with a rung of a chair.
Murphy grabbed O'Sullivan and threw him on the bed,
Stabbed him with a clothespin and left him there for dead.

The police grabbed 25 and 30 got away,
Took them up before the judge the very next day.
The judge looked 'em over as before him they stood.
He gave them 60 days in jail. Begorrah! They’re all sawin' wood.