Here is a song written by Ronnie Barker that featured on "Ronnie Barker's - Unbroken British Record" :

IT PAYS TO LISTEN
(Ronnie Barker)

There's a corner of old Ireland that is all the world to me
And I visit it as often as I can
And all I have to do is catch a bus from North West tree
To Camden town to see me Uncle Dan
He's an ugly man is uncle with a face like a carbuncle
I'll tell you why says he twill break your hearts
The fact is I must mention cause I didn't pay attention
When the Angels were a handin' round the parts

When the angels gave out brains, I thought that they said trains
And I missed mine as I usually do
When they handed out the eyes, I thought that they said ties
And I asked for one of brown and one of blue
When they passed out the chins, I thought that they said gins
And I ordered a double one for me
When they gave out the noses, I thought that they said roses
And I chose a great big red one as you see

CHORUS:
Oh what a mess I'm in
Oh what a mess I'm in
If only I had listened to them angels when they spoke
I would not be in the mess that I am in

When the angels gave out hair, I thought they said fresh air
And so I asked for plenty up me nose
When they gave out the bellies, I thought that they said jellies
So a great big pink and wobbly one I chose
When they gave out the ears, I thought that they said beers
So I ordered mine with handles on instead
When they gave out the necks, I thought that they said sex
And now I'm old I can't hold up me head

CHORUS:
Oh what a mess I'm in
Oh what a mess I'm in
If only I had listened to them angels when they spoke
I would not be in the mess that I am in
If only I had listened to them angels when they spoke
I would not be in the mess that I am in