Fools that you are, the Scheisskopf plan was first mentioned in the foreword to the 1912 edition of "Janes Fighting Drunks" and even then was intended only as a diversionary tactic. The real plan has always been to attack the soft underbelly of Europe by fist taking over the Leicestershire underpant industry and then flooding the market with cheap flannel drawers impregnated with itching powder. Then, when the whole male population had been driven to a mad, scratching frenzy an army of no more than 250 troops under the direction of Field Marshal Erich von Pfennigbanken would cycle calmly over the Alps and free wheel into Trieste disguised as Neopolitan ice cream vendors.

The locals would siezs on the ice cream as a way of easing their burning nether regions thereby immediately transferring the GNP of the area into the hands of the invaders and leaving themselves penniless and unable to mount any sort of defence.