Yet again another opportunity to wallow around in gutter humour. Far be it from me to avoid the temptation...
So Needy
To the tune of So Lonely – The Police
V
They tell me if you have a snip
At this salon it's a naked trip
I'm not sure - it's just a blip
Or maybe a vasectomist's trip
But I just cannot stop myself
Don't tell the wife - tell no one else
Cos I have just have to take my chance
On a hairdresser who can lap dance
C
So horny, so horny, so horny
(Feel) so horny, (feel) so horny, (feel) so horny
V
So I just save my cash away
Look forward to that fateful day
I now somehow that I will pay
But mortal man - he sometimes stray
Finally I find myself there
Receiving the best cranial care
And now I find my morals lost
(Cos) I'm asking how much extras cost
C
So needy, so needy, so needy
(Feel) so needy, (feel) so needy, (feel) so needy
Well dancing Rita said to me
"Depends on what you want to see"
I said, "I want to see the lot"
"Depends on how much cash you've got"
I tendered 5 bucks straight away
She said, "If that's all you can pay
You'll have to take what we've got free
Meet my aging Gran instead of me"
C
Please help me, please help me, please help me
(Oh) please help me, (oh) please help me, (oh) please help me
Hyp