"The water we brought from Aurora, Colorado, on the other hand, had nothing in it but water" Scoville

Nitpicking here just a bit- I don't think that is actually possible, Scoville. That would have to mean that the water was sterile, which is another kettle of fish entirely.

I was born in North Dakota (my family left there when I was just a baby) and the water there is/was extremely alkaline. The story goes in my family that my visiting cousin complained about Oregon water that "it doesn't stink right.)