I'm certainly not against a well played bodhran such as playing like Ciaran Boyle (the best in the business for my money). Playing like that really lifts and enhances the music.
Perhaps it is my lack of knowledge about the bodhran, but melody instrument players tend to play quietly and respectfully if they are novices, so they can hear, learn from and not put off the more learned musicians. I haven't found this to be the case for the average bodhran player, but I might have just encountered the rogue ones!