So this flippin' trunk driver says I'll take you soth! and I'm like, "OK" figerin this is my chance to get back to Blind River and hmeo. So he drops me off in front of a flippin' Tim HOrtons in flippin' MAYO! I an't never herd of flippin' Mayo! And he drives away laffin'!. Well lemme tell ya thisx ain 't flippin' funny! I go into Tim's to get a coffee and donut and the neks think I know a flippin' MMOUNTIE is tellin' me I gotta get a job! A JOB!

So I'm up here livin' in a flippin' SHAK in back of some guys house and I got to chop wood BY FLIPOPIN' HAND just for a place to sleep and food! No beer! And the cop says that if I get out of line just once he'll put me in flippin JAIL! I am tpying this inn the pubic libery so if you can jplease tell Don so send me some flippin' moneyso I can get home! Tell him that the money he missing last Agust is behind the fake bazongas on my wall and to send it rite away or I'm going to be ate by mosskeeters here.

I ain't even gong to worry about the inposter untli I get back to Blind River.

- THE One and only Shane McBride

PS plese tell Don to send money fast.