You're a real innovator, aren't you, Bee-dubya-ell? I think the medieval approach would make for splendid pageantry. I'm going to suggest it to the Twillingsgate polo club and see what they say. The 12 gauge shotgun variant sounds very North American, though. It wouldn't do in Shropshire or Kent. I imagine that's just how they would like to do it in Kentucky, from what I've heard.
Ebarnacle, you might be surprised to know that some of the upper class "twits" you refer to are seemingly unable to reproduce even without the severe polo whackings you suggest. I'm not sure if it's a problem of genetic nature or if it stems from acquired attitudes...but never fear, the present enormous advantage in numbers that your class holds over those in the upper echelons is in no danger of being diminished, particularly given the fact that most of you breed like stray cats.