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Adeline Rosa Maria Angelica Elizabeth Mint's head felt like it was going to explode like the pretty fountain in Mama's garden did when she turned on the water for the first time every year for the summertime. She needed Tylenol badly, and she was ready to beat the gardener with her write sock to get that divine, heavenly, pain-eliminating pill. She raised herself from her pink, frilly, Ikea-brand lawnchair and realized with heart-stopping, brain-melting panic that her write sock had dropped off the edge of the planet.
"ANDREW MORGANN GEORGE ROY VALERIAN ALEXANDRO SHOVEL! WHERE IN ALL THE HELLS IN HELL IS YOUR CLUMSY, IDIOTIC, PINK ASS?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!"
The good sir Mr. Shovel would not, and could not, and really should not have responded. His response was falling through the thin as a sheet of paper wall of the wreckity ol' gardening shed. With a woman. A stunningly amazingly gorgeous woman with hairy feet.
The woman screamed as sun poured over like honey over milky white skin. Monsieur Shovel howled in heart-retching agony as her skin lit on fire. He tried to put out the fire with his feet, which only made the retched female shriek in even more agony.
Adeline Rosa Maria Angelica Elizabeth Mint soon found a stake that belonged to her sister's ex-husband's mother's cousin's roommate's sister's girlfriend. You can guess where it ended up. She then decided to become a huntress of vampires, dedicated to eliminating FROM THIS GOOD UNIVERSE all those who bite people. And wear black. Why would you wear black when pink exists, you know?
The good sir Mr. Shovel gave Madame Adeline Rosa Maria Angelica Elizabeth Mint her Tylenol, and slunk like a skunk into the shadowy reck of a shed. And smiled snarkily, wondered whether she'd figure on him using rat poison on her frilly, cross-eyed ass.
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Hahahahahahaha.... long stupid names.