Oh well I never could sulk for any length of time...

First Crush

To the tune of - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - E. Idle

The first girl in this mantra
Was a pretty child called Sandra
I was nine and she was nearly ten
I told my Mum we'd marry
She laughed and said don't tarry
Do it before she gets to know men

Your first crush will never be your first wife
On this fact I'll happily bet my life

Inexperience is bliss
Until life takes the piss
Innocence is great 'til first heartbreak
When you're courting your first girl
Go ahead give it a whirl
But don't be shocked when you're left in the wake

Your first crush will never be your first wife
On this fact I'll happily bet my life

The next girl on my list
Was a contortionist
A pretty Asiatic dream co true
But she was from a catholic country
With a shotgun toting family
So French kiss was 'bout all we got to do

Your first crush will never be your first wife
On this fact I'll happily bet my life

Well then came Caroline
A girl who was finally mine
An English rose who knew just what to do
A seventeen year boy
Was pleased to be her toy
But then she left and my life went askew

Your first crush will never be your first wife
On this fact I'll happily bet my life

(Key change)

Your first crush will never be your first wife
On this fact I'll happily bet my life

When you find a wife
Then you'll think you've found a life
But that's day one it all starts in from there
When the littluns are a screaming
And she's talking about leaving
You'll think back to the past and wish you're there

Your first crush will never be your first wife
On this fact I'll happily bet my life

(Play our and whistle)

Hyp