"You were obviously married in a time when homosexuality was still illegal, probably homosexual marriage was unthinkable to you and your wife. You accepted the concept of traditional marriage and feel secure in that."

No, Ake, you're totally wrong. First of all, prior to our marriage, we did know one same-sex couple. One of the men had been a school chum of Barbara's, and discovered his sexual orientation when he entered his teens. He and his partner had been living together in a home they owned for over thirty years when he passed away. Cancer of the spine. He was an authority on both British history and the American Civil War, and he earned his living as a writer and a tutor. His partner was a college professor. Theater arts. They were good friends of ours, and of many other people—including married couples. They were accepted as a "couple" in their neighborhood and in the community at large—and in their church (Episcopalian). The only thing that set them apart was that they were the same gender and they were not legally married (not allowed). Other than that, they were as solid citizens as you will ever find anywhere. They were accepted as "partners." Had the law allowed them to marry, they would have been accepted as a married couple.

Second, homosexuality may be illegal—or may have been illegal—in the British Isles thirty years ago, but here in the United States, it was not. Perhaps in a few small, rural areas in the South, but not in any state, or major city that I am aware of.

Third, we had heard a little bit about gays wanting to get married like heterosexual couples. We felt, and with a few--very few—exceptions, most of our friends and acquaintances figured, "Why not?" The main exception was a couple who lived in the same apartment building where we live, and they were very hard-charging fundamentalist Christians. And they were mystified that we, whom they perceived as a church-going couple, were not disturbed by the idea. [So I have some experience with the very same arguments you are presenting] To us, and to many other heterosexual married couples, it was (and is) not "unthinkable" at all.

And as far as "traditional marriage" is concerned, when we married, I was 46 and Barbara was 40, and we both had careers. We decided that we would not have children. And there are many other heterosexual couples who, for various reasons, make the same decision. So—if one of the primary purposes of "traditional marriage" is procreation, how do you square that?

And as far as the "security" of traditional marriage is concerned, we were fully aware that marriage is not always a smooth and clear road, and that about half the marriages in this country end in divorce. But we did it anyway.

No, Ake, your arguments just don't wash.

And although in recent posts, you seem to be trying to back away from the idea that you have any kind of personal involvement with the issue, that doesn't wash either. No one spends as much time and energy arguing an issue, as you have in this thread, without having some very strong personal feelings on the matter.

Why?

Perhaps a bit of self-examination might be in order.

Don Firth