My Cats are my children ~ I don't have any 'real' children and when anything happens to them it is a wrench and it hits you just as much as anyone else you love. What makes it worse is that they are, in effect, helpless, and you cannot tell them you must not go out. I lock my cat flap sometimes, like fire work nights. My 2 love to roam on the farm next door and Isolde always make sure she is out to supervise the early morning milking!
My heart goes out to you in your loss and Isolde and Bathsheba send special cuddles and purrs.