jacqui.c , issues of money left to survivors are completely seperate in most cases from the issue of who gets the reamins. Agauin, all the more reason to spell things out clearly in a WILL. If you pick an executor who is controlling, be prepared for them to ignore your wishes about property. In most states within the usa, an Executor can alter the terms spelled out in the will for specific bequests of money or property. If a parent wants their children to have something they should set up a trust BEFORE they get sick or die so that nobody can screw with it. Likewise for heirlooms such as jewelry. My grandmother promised each granchild certain pieces of family jewlery that had great sentimental value and even had it in her will but her executor, he son-in-law didn't see it that way and just said those items were not found. We know they were there and where they were but they went poof - most likely sold or put into a safety deposit box. This wasn't out of any greed in my opinion but out of his belief that certain grandhicldren were untrusworthy and likely to sell the jewelry. Was he wrong? I can't say. What I can say is that if you have something special you want someone else to have - just give it to them NOW. if you don't use it or wear it, why not? I gave my cousins daughter an antique locket I want kept in the family. I don't waear it any longer and I fear that if I pre-decease my parents, they will withhold it from her because they dislike her. I adore her and want her to have every piece of my jewlery when I pass away as well as the family silver. She has 3 daughters to pass these things down to and she has a good heart. She has met me only a few times as an adult but writes me letters every few months and sends me photos faithfully. She is my darling girl and I want her to know I love her. So, each year, I send her a piece of my jewelry I no longer wear that has significant family history. People need to stop waiting until they die to reward their loved ones with material blessings in my humble opinion. Share the wealth now if you can and set up irrovocable trusts for assets you still need at present. As for what to dow tih you when you are dead - get that all wrapped up now as well. Save your family the pain of a dispute.
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