"...Can't remember - have we had mutton dressed as lamb for, particulary, an older woman dressing like she's a lot younger than she is or my own variation on this being lamb dressed as mutton for young women dressing like their grandmothers..."
Just a quick note: 'Mutton dressed as lamb' was originally a butchering fraud, cutting an older sheep carcass in such a way as to allow it to be sold as the more expensive lamb.

"...Slapper          --- Woman of easy virtue..."
Could 'slapper' come from either the excessive use of cosmetics or a comment on the virtue of actresses - "Slap" as the theatrical/circus slang for make-up.

"...cream crakered - knakered..."
By extension, "Jacobed" as in Jacobs Cream Crackers

Another version of "Fur coat, no knickers" is "Red hat, no knickers"

Pissed as a fiddler's bitch - Exceedingly drunk
Drunk as David's Sow - ditto
Fit as a butcher's dog - In fine fettle
[I''ve been doing x] Before you got the cradle marks off your arse - effectively, [I've been doing x] long before you started.
Dry as a nun's chuff - Excedingly thirsty
He'd skin a turd for a ha'penny - He's somewhat avericious.
A child in unfortunate circumstaces (injured, sick etc.) might be referred to as a "Poor little bugger" (boy) or "Poor little cow" (girl) or alternatively "Poor little mite"

Early in the thread we had mention of "Taking the piss"/"taking the mickey".
I think we may have covered this elsewhere, but, I believe that this goes back to "Piss Proud" (an 'faux' erection caused by bladder pressure)
The injuction "Piss off" was not, originally a coarse vesion of 'go away' but effective a claim that a comment or position taken was false, pretentious, exaggerated etc.
From this "Take the Piss" was to deflate someone's position often by ridicule, thus gaining its present meaning
"Take the Mickey" derives from an attempt to 'gentrify' the phrase (Mickey = Micturate = unrine/urinate)

W