To the tune of 'The Green Green Grass of Home'
The Green Green Garden Gnome

The old gnome town looks just the same
As I stand here in the rain
And there around me stand my momma and my pappa
Down the path I look, and there stands Mary
Belt of gold and hat like cherry
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Yes, they all stand around me
Fishing, digging, smoking sweetly
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

The exhibition still stands there
You can see gnomes everywhere
Dressed in red and green, with beards and pointed hats on
Down the path I stare at my sweet Mary
What a gnome, not like a fairy
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Yes they all stand around me
Flying, playing cricket proudly
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Then I awake and look around me
At the grey sack that surrounds me
And I realise from the show I have been taken
They say that I've been liberated
If this is freedom, it's overrated
I was happy as a green green garden gnome

Yes they'll all come to see me
As I hang beneath the bridge at Briey
I've no chance to love my sweet green garden gnome.