I start the new job with my old agency Nov. 30. I dodged another round of lay-offs last week. (The 3rd round in 7 months.)

I confess to some real ambivalence because I do love my work and my colleagues. I also care deeply about many of my clients and it is going to be very hard to say goodbye. Some of them I have worked with for 10 years or more. Since last April, some of them have lost their psychiatrists and case managers of long-standing. The new paraprofessional positions have turned into revolving doors, so these same clients have had anywhere from 2 to 4 paraprofessionals come and go in the same amount of time. As unsettling as all this has been for me and my few remaining colleagues, it has been much more difficult and threatening to many of our clients. My caseload is heavily weighted with people who have experienced not only the continuing trauma of poverty, but who also have extensive histories of emotional, physical and sexual abuse and the intense issues around trust and abandonment that go along with trauma. Maybe I should go back and read Guilt is the Teacher, Love is the Lesson.

Heartwise - things checked out quite good. My heart itself seems to be in good shape. There is some evidence of very early vascular issues that are, as I thought might be the case, more of a wake-up call regarding lifestyle issues than anything else.

I'll add one more 'good thoughts' request here. LA, a good friend,colleague and fellow lover of gardening had a massive heart attack this past weekend and is in a coma. I learned about it shortly after getting home from the Getaway this afternoon. He had retired, but then came back to work a few hours a week as a contract therapist to help us out. He is a skillful, gentle, open-hearted therapist and human being. He and his wife. SA, can use all the prayers and good thoughts anyone can muster right now.

Thanks.

Janie