Two drunks are sitting in the local pub, enjoying a leisurely afternoon of drinking.

After a while, the pub owner's dog -- a big German shepard of a thing -- comes in the door, circles the pub a few times and finally settles down by the fireplace. The dog starts to clean itself and eventually gets to its nether regions.

After watching the dog for a minute, the first drunk says to his friend "You know, I wish I was able to do that."

Through drunken eyes his friend looks at him, looks at the dog, and then turns back to say,

"Well, you better pet him first, 'cuz he looks a bit mean."