Newcassel Wonders II

Sic wonders there happens iv wor canny toon,
Sae wise and sae witty Newcassel has grown,
That for hummin, and hoaxing, and tyeking folk in,
We'll suen learn the Lunneners far better things.

We've wonderful Knights, and wondrous Hussars,
Wonderful Noodles, and wonderful Mayors;
For as langas a keel gans down river Tyne,
For wisdom and valour, O A-----y, thou'll shine.

We've R---s and V---s, a time serving crew;
For ov priests and excisemen, and limbs o' the law,
There's ten tiv the dozen 'ill gan down belaw.

And whe wad hae thowt now that iver Au'd Nick,
wiv wor canny toon wad hae gettin sae thick;
That iv Luckley's au'd house he's set up Hell's Kitchen
Where the tyelyers and snobs find the yell se bewitchin

There's canny Tom Lid--l, they've myed him a Lord
For learning his ploughmen to play wi' the sword;
But if ony invaders should britain assail,
They'll slip off their skins and run to the plough-tail.

We've a Captain of watchmen, he's second to nyen,
He dislikesto see folks gannin quietly hyem;
For if ye but mention the nyem o' Tom C--r,
To the care of Jack S--tt, he'll yor body transfer.

-In: The Newcastle Song Book or Tyne-Side Songster., W&T Fordyce
Newcastle Upon Tyne.