"We hereby swear to uphold the values of William Wilberforce. We swear to continue his work, to bring honour, truth and integrity back to this land and to guard against, and speak out about, injustice, wherever it may be happening in this world.

We swear to bring about the return of compassion and gentleness. We swear to ensure that all young people will have free University education, decent jobs at the end of it, instead of debts, homes they can afford to buy and families who have time for one another again. We swear to get our young people off drugs and drink by showing them that they live in a country where they are cared about, supported and loved.

We swear to rid this country of every lily-livered, lying, twisted, money-grabbing, self-centred, selfish, dictatorial politician. We swear to rid this country of every member of the royal family who does not pay their own way and who has no compassion for 'their people'.

And we swear, William, to make Lord G*ldsmith understand these words of yours, that it is important that we "continually find it necessary to guard against that natural love of wealth and grandeur which prompts us always, when we come to apply our general doctrine to our own case, to claim an exception."