Too right, Scooby. The best action you can take with a troll is to squash it underfoot. Sorry to be late on Baaaarrry accents, but here's a local accent which is even more idiosyncratic than Barry: The Port Talbot accent.

Lord Heycock, the Labour peer and chairman of the county education committee (!) lived in a bungalow in Taibach, Port Talbot. At the opening of a new school, he is reported to have said: "Sorry that the haarr-ti-tect cannot be yer, but 'e have broken 'is haarm."

There's an apochryphal story about a Jehovah's witness knocking on Lord Heycock's door, which was opened by Lady Heycock. JW: "Is the Lord in the house?" Lady Heycock: " 'Ang on a minute, luv, 'e's on the lav."