Bonnie, finger picking has eluded me as well. I think it's an A.D.D. thing for me though. I've never really had patience to learn and practice scales. I've always been content with banging out a rythym and trying to maintain that rythym when I start singing. Multi tasking is NOT one of my strengths. Fortunately, after pairing up with Hugh Wallis, a fine traditional blues picker, i've reduced the agressive banging strumming style and am learning a more subtle emotionally connected strum. Re-learning takes forever, but we have fun (and lots of laughs) watching my slow progress. Rock and Roll has been imbedded so deeply into my psyche, but thankfully I found room up there to squeeze in some Blues. Keep at finger picking, have you found some-one to help or mentor you?