There's a place far, far, away where I used to go and stay.
You could go there any time you wanted to board.
If you'd go and stay one day, you would want to get away,
And you'd never want to be seen there anymore.

The old lady they called "Dutchess" brings the coffee in on crutches,
And the cobwebs are swept up in a gourd.
The molasses mixed with paint, if you smell them you will faint,
At that all-go-hungry hash house where I board.

The beef-steak it was rare, and the butter had red hair,
And the coffee wasn't hot when it was poured.
The old eggs were put in a batch. If you touched them they would hatch
At that all-go-hungry hash house where I board.