Flattop, I agree with you where you say My own gender and prefernces are a poor excuse for not appreciating someone else's joy or sorrow. Language confusion exists everywhere so why not on Mudcat where we use funny names and have names from around the planet? We should expect it and not be troubled or too surprised when we make mistakes... bingo. I would only add - don't be offended if others make a mistake about you either, in addition to don't be offended if you find out you made a mistake.

Although I would hesitate to call it a "consensus" I am going to tally the Correct People answers and the Don't Worry About It answers and see if we at least have a clear majority...