There was a book published a few years ago, that can be somewhat difficult to get. It is called the Ex-Factor, and it is all about family law, written by a group of attorneys. The main drawback to the book is that the family law varies some from state to state, so one would have to consult the local laws before using any of the strategies that are in the book. It could have been titled, "how to screw over your ex." You might find it worth trying to find. My copy walked off a long time ago, but I'm sure that it is still available, probably you'll have to special order it from a bookstore.
Sorry for your troubles, things will get better...at least they did in my case.
Hardiman the Fiddler