OK this is gonna kill my fingers but...this is the version that I used to sing...good luck.
There's a spot in Glasgow city that is ken't the whole world o'er.
It's more famous than the Mona Lisa's face.
It is visited by royalty and rascals by the score.
Everybody knows the Barrows is the place.
Oh, the Barrows, oh, the Barrows, there's none in Rome or Paris.
You've just got to go to Glasgow's Gallowgate.
They sell tickets to the moon, in return for half-a-crown.
Five bob guarantees a first class seat.
When St. Peter lost the keys to yon bright pearly gates,
He was fear't that he'd get flung right from his job.
But a fly wee Glasgow angel said, "Now, Peter, dinnae greet.
You can buy one at the Barrows for a bob."
One day a Frenchman noticed that the Eiffel Tower was gone.
When notified, the president grew pale.
He quick called up his gendarmes and they searched the whole world o'er,
And they found it at the Barrows up for sale.
When the Romans came to Scotland, many donkeys' years ago,
They got nae further than the Gallowgate.
For the people up in Glasgow sel't them souvenirs for swords,
And the fly wee Glasgow keelies had their way.
Do you ken how Samson lost his strength? Delilah cut his hair.
He was left as weak and baldie as a bairn.
So he travelled o'er to Scotland, to the Barrows for a cure,
And now he's strong and hairy once again.
So before I close my story, let me give you some advice:
If you're after something cheap or second-hand,
Take a trip up to the Barrows, for there's none that can compare
With the trash they sell in Glasgow's Barrowland.
HTML line breaks added, and changed from all caps. --JoeClone, 9-May-02.