A friend told me her dad said this to a guy in a cafe. She and her dad (who's quite outspoken) were having coffee together and at a nearby table was a young punk, full rainbow-coloured mohican, safety pins etc., Her dad was staring at him for ages and my friend was getting worried "oh no, he's going to say something smart, I can just feel it"
Eventually the punk realised he was being stared at and angrily demanded "what are you staring at?"
Her dad said "well i was staring at your hair"
The punk answered "I suppose you were always boring and never did anything in your life?"
Her dad replied "Oh yes, I did. I got drunk once and think i had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son"