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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge BS: The Mother of all BS threads (59138* d) RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads 25 Jan 09

Oh, my! Getting rather worked up, aren't we? I don't know about you, but I always find my blood coursing a bit faster through my veins at the thought of an "affair of honour" being settled by two grim-faced, well-dressed, self-important men, their taut faces pale but determined as they size each other up across a bare stretch of misty ground on some chosen field of mortal combat, their seconds and assistants standing mute to one side, the last moments ticking away as they balance their gigantic, swaggering, bloated egos on the unpredictable razor's edge of fate...a few beads of sweat appearing on a suitably stiff upper lip or two...eyes narrowed...the pretense of outer calm masking the sudden rush of inner panic that causes the mustache to tremble ever so slightly...

What a pity that in this case one of them has not even shown up! With any luck you might kill one another simultaneously, leaving the world a little richer in your passing.

You people in the former colonies really do need a little qualified instruction in these formalized matters. I'll have to see if I can get dear Winston (my husband) to take a little trip to North America and give dueling comportment lessons to the needy. God would get him out of the house for awhile, and wouldn't that be just grand! Things might finally become somewhat sane and sensible around here. I would remodel the Vicar's Inn, turn it into a decent place, throw out his layabout wastrel friends and their filty cigars, and turn that disgusting bar into a vegetarian buffet...with live chamber music on the weekends.

Someday, Penelope, someday...

* PR

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