What rubbish! That idiot Ballsworthy is completely and absolutely mad! Or he has a criminal mind. Or both. He should be locked up for life like some terrorist fanatic! It's disgraceful how he hounds the upper classes and generally pesters the real people of substance who hold up a shining example in society that others less fortunate may follow.

He makes me sick! I have just drawn a very unflattering depiction of Hector Ballsworthy on a lavatory wall here (I shan't say where it is) and I have taken the liberty of depicting him with his pants just fallen down around his ankles. The observer will note that he is wearing NO knikkers at all! And guess how large his miserable little dangling thingie is? It's tiny! Almost microscopic. Ha! Ha!

I hope you get to see this picture I have drawn, Hector. I hope you see it in the trashy papers soon.

The suggestion that my Uncle Winston would ever do THAT...to me...is absolutely disgusting and ludicrous! We're family, you know. It's unthinkable! Besides, he's WAY too old and he smells of cigars! True, he can be cold at times. Some have called call him "unfeeling" or "ruthless". Some would called him worse. I don't think Aunt Penny really likes him at all anymore and he does acquire a somewhat reptilian glare when you cross him, but he is still, after all, her husband, and he bought me a new Porsche when the old one sank to the bottom of the bog that it unfortunately went into one day. It's bright pink. The new car, I mean, NOT the bog! I have decided it's time for a bold new statement in automotive fashion. The old car with the Zebra stripes was getting sooooo OLD, sad to say. I hardly miss it at all.

Hector Ballsworthy is just mad and jealous because his family never bought HIM a Porsche!

TTFN! *Veronica