This is all getting too much!
But, seriously, I do believe that all our lives should be governed by the principle 'how can I help?' Apologies if what follows sounds like a sanctimonious 'mission statement', but I want the business I'm starting to be able to leave everyone who ever comes into contact - clients, customers, conractors and staff - able to walk away thinking "Isn't it nice to have someone being nice to us?"
I already know that it's going to be a difficult ideal to achieve because of what I had to do on Monday.
I have a friend I've known for more than 20 years, since we were at school together. We've shared countless things, some of them unprintable; we've bounced off each other during highs and lows, and for two decades we've kept in touch.
When I was setting up this business coincided with one of those times when our orbits mesh together and we were talking on the phone - catching up on the in-between. He mentioned that his contract was ending, he was now working in a field relevant to mine, and said I wanted someone to help us launch. Bingo! We both laughed manically on the phone and he agreed to come back to London and pitch in.
(He's also got a magnificent singing voice, and we'd been hoping, before things got so manic, to go together to Sidmouth and Towersey, but that's to digress).
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I had to tell him on Monday that, partly due to my lack of foresight, we couldn't give him enough work to do on the salary we were paying him, and our backers would probably pull the plug on us if we carried on as we were structured for more than a few months, and paid him off (forgive the jargon - my head's swimming with it at the mo).
It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. At the moment I so hope that in a couple of weeks he and I can perhaps meet for a beer and pick up where we left of, and that for an evening I can drop this weird mantle of having to be so grown-up.
Sorry to ramble on, but I just wanted to get that off my chest Feel free to flame.
Gervase With a heavy conscience and a lot of hope.