I have lost two wives to cancer. Both of them dealt with it with a great deal of humor. It's about the only way you can.

My first wife, Melanie, had brain cancer. She had a large semicircular scar just above her right ear. Her hair fell out from the radiation treatments, so it was quite exposed. She would put people at ease with lines, such as, "I need this like I need a hole in the head." Or, "Anyone with half a brain can see ....." With a prognosis of 18-24 months, she lived for 7 years and was (and still is) greatly missed.

I can't remember any specific things my second wife Bonnie did, but she rose to the occasion as well. She is also greatly missed.

By the way, there is a surprising amount of laughter in bereavement groups, even among the newly widowed. It doesn't indicate a lack of loss.