Take care, dear friends, before using salty language - doing it well is not easy. Mark Twain was a frequent, elegant and seasoned cusser, but his swearing used to annoy his wife. One day, irritated beyond measure, she walked into his study and let rip with a string of high-flying words.

Twain calmly took his pipe out of his mouth, lowered his paper, looked up at his wife and said, "My dear, the notes are all there, but the melody is missing."