Jack - as the 'bystander' responsible for the 'patronizing shite' I apologize unreservedly for my phrasing, since you found it offensive. I think exasperated was what I was aiming for - and not with you personally.
Maybe knowing where the Festival Office was (thanks not least to signposts mentioned above on my first Whitby) and knowing it is a temporary arrangement for that week only, I truly could not understand the point you were trying to make. Perhaps I should have mentioned the signs.
Knowing the organisers, I'm sure that the website will have at least some of the information you are hoping for. If you do make it to Whitby, I hope you will enjoy it as much as those who return year after year.