Or this, maybe: Endangered Species Life on planet Earth is teeterin' on the brink, Every day more species become extinct; Every day, it seems, we lose another link in the chain, Life's not a trailer, it's the whole main feature; The outlook's bleak and it's gettin' bleaker, For all those poor endangered creatures who remain. Forget the platypusses and those funny aardvarks, Pigmy hippopotamusses and great white sharks; I'm tellin' you the truth, no bull faeces, If you wannna know the most endangered species. It's not the albatross or the humpback whale, It's the middle-aged, ineffectual, unfashionably heterosexual, White, Jewish male; The middle-aged, unreconstructable, non-tax deductable, White, Jewish male. Back in the good old days when it took two to breed, We swam around the gene pool scattering our seed; Now IVF and sperm banks, Have removed the need to serve or volley. We used to be the hunters and providers, Knockin' off mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers; Now your wife shops at Foodland, And you walk beside her with the trolley. Forget the gorillas and the chimpanzees, Those scaly armadillos, sea-grass-munchin' manatees; I'm tellin' you the truth, you know that it's real. The next one to fall from evolution's wheel, Is not the green tree-frog or the giant land-snail, It's the middle-aged, unathletic, flabby and pathetic, White, Jewish male; The middle-aged, inexplicable, daggy and despicable, White, Jewish male. You ain't worth savin', got no style, no cachet; But if bad taste comes back into fashion one day, They got your germ plasm locked away in some laboratory. Goodbye, you dinosaur, a brave new world calls; Not long now till the curtain falls, You lost the race when you lost your balls - end of story. Forget the iguanas, and the orangutans, Those cuddly koalas and the mighty elephants; I'm tellin' you the truth, you know it's no lie, Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. You got the future of a fart in a force ten gale, You middle-aged, introspectual, twice-a-month erectual, White, Jewish male; You middle-aged, unrootable, unstable and unsuitable, White, Jewish male. Forget about the cheetahs and the giraffes, Those laughin' hyenas, they're not a lot of laughs; Don't worry 'bout the wildebeests or the kangaroos, Remember that to some at least no gnus can be good gnus. In the battle for survival someone has to fail, It's the middle-aged, undesirable, use-by-date expirable, White, Jewish male; The middle-aged, indefensible, obsolete, dispensable, White, Jewish male.
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