This song was posted in response to a song challenge made by McGrath of Harlow on this thread.  Below is the newstory that prompted McGrath's challenge:

Mounties Punish Fragrant Offences (June 4, 2000) --  The Canadian province of Nova Scotia has outlawed perfume in public places after claims that it contains toxic chemicals .  The ban, observed in government buildings, schools and a growing number of private workplaces includes all fragrances, including those in hairspray and gel, mouthwash and deodorants. Some employees have been sent home to shower for being too sweetly scented.   The ban signals a victory for anti-perfume activists who lobbied outside the City Hall of the province's capital, Halifax, wearing gas masks. Their complaint is that fragrance is composed of undisclosed chemicals, some of which cause MCS - multiple chemi cal sensitivity. Critics say MCS is a spurious condition.  In Halifax not everyone has come to terms with the anti-perfume rule. An 84-year-old woman was escorted from a council meeting at City Hall for having a dab of perfume behind her ears.  Sheet Harbour High School was the scene of another scent showdown when a 17-year-old pupil refused to trade in his hair gel and deodorant for unscented alternatives. It almost got him a criminal record. His teacher, highly sensitive to fragrance, blamed the scent for triggering a vomiting attack. She called the incident an 'assault' and was backed by the school. The teen was handed over to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police but released without charge. 

Bradypus' Comments:  I've probably used the same pun too often in this - but I enjoyed having a challenge again.  The tune is 'Mountain Dew', and the last four lines are lifted almost directly from one of the versions in Digitrad - but you've got to end a song somehow. 

A Non-scents Song! by Bradypus

In Canada's land certain things are banned
Which will come as no surprise
But the government has now banned scent
I'm telling you no lies
Perfume in the air has now turned rare
In government and school
They can quickly tell if you smell too well
That you've broken their new rule.

In Halifax they were wearing masks
Chemical Sensitivity
Can make you sick if the perfume's thick
So they've banned it now, you see
Hypochondriacs with vomiting attacks
Or sensitive souls at home
It matters not how the law we've got
We're now a scents – free zone.

A dab behind the ears can lead to tears
Shower gel to an early bath
Now deodorant has no odour in't
As we go down the scent – free path
If you've got B O, better let it show
Or you could be done for assault
If you don't use scents, then you've got a defence
That the odour's not your fault

In the gardens and the parks there are many sparks
As the flowers quit the town
It may be common sense, but their common scents
Could have them all sent down
But my Auntie June has a sweet perfume
It has such a wonderful 'pew'
But it's legal still, fully natural
It's the real old mountain dew !