Sometimes it is the modern way of living rather which has confounded those used to older ways, rather than any degeneration of manners.

About two years ago, I was waiting for a train at Heald Green railway station, in south Manchester. When I wore short trousers, railway carriages had about twelve slam doors, and the train moved off when they were all closed. Now, there are two narrow doors, one at each end of the carriage, opened and closed by hydraulics.

The train arrived. The dozen or so people on the platform waited while the commuters got off. Then we tried to board. At one door were two elderly ladies, waited down by shopping bags. At the other were two people nattering on mobile phones. As these four dawdled, the warning bleeps sounded, the doors slammed behind them and the train sped off, leaving eight people, including myself, stranded on the platform.

We tried complaining. There was nobody to complain to. There was someone on duty, but he made it clear that his duty was to pick up litter. The train was run by an operator, which was nothing to do with the company which runs the railway infrastructure. He suggested we should have been quicker getting on the train. We did not find his suggestion that we bundle old ladies into the carriage or shoulder-charge them aside particularly apt.

If ever I become President of the World, then legislation will be brought in to:

-Prevent inefficient organisations plastering their vehicles, property or advertising hoardings with self-serving slogans like, "Bringing convenience to you" or "Serving the public". This applies to bodies like Greater Manchester Police. When you're good, I'll tell you.

-Make chatting about inanities on a mobile phone in a queue or other public place where inconvenience result, an offence of Obstruction. You may be barged aside without penalty or legal remedy.

Grrr!