JOHN WILLIE'S FERRET.

CHORUS: I was there. So were you,
The mayor and the vicar, all the council too,
With the wives and ladies on full view,
The night John Willie took his ferret to a do.

1. He slipped his lead with some butter from the sauce.
He patterned all the table with his dirty little paws.
"Oh!" said the Vicar's wife. "This rabbit isn't dead!"
As he danced a little jig around the hat upon her head.

2. He ran down her collar, and down the front he tore.
He wriggled down her knicker leg and danced upon the floor.
"Oh!" said the Vicar. "That's a sewer rat I'm sure!"
"Well, If that's the case," his wife replied, "I wish we had some more."

3. He ran through the soup and he nibbled at the peas.
He dribbled all the gravy down the mayor's knocky knees,
And then he quenched his ferret's thirst with half a pint of shandy,
And then relieved his little self in Mrs. Briley's brandy.

4. Well, the ladies left their tables and began to dance with fright.
They shouted out in panic at the little ferret's sight.
He nibbled at their stockings and he tickled all their knees,
And the vicar's wife kept shouting. "Give me some o' that, please."

5. He ran up and down the curtains and he swam about the punch.
He herded all the ladies in a corner in a bunch,
And just to end the escapade, he did a little quickie.
He ran up the speaker's dinner suit and nibbled at his collar.

6. Well, they caught the little fella and they put him in a box.
They gave him anaesthetic from the vicar's woolly socks.
They sang him "Annie Laurie" in the mayor's own car and then
They got him back as fast as hell to John Willie's pen.