RE your Mad Cow contribution:
I'll laugh if you'll laugh.
Q: Why don't men get Mad Cow Disease?
A: Men aren't cows, they're pigs.
It's true, Sheye and Erica, that computers can sense our menstrual cycles and it makes them nervous. Just like some men, they respond by cowering in fear and responding inappropriately to our desires and commands, which only makes us madder. Remember: they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Plus, you have a whole pirate ship at your command, apparently.