Valerie Wilkins (The square Crows)

Who's that knocking at my door?
Big Valerie Wilkins and she lives next door'
Curses, curses she wants to play at nurses
And I want to play at war.

When Valerie Wilkins comes to play she is always the leader,
She always gets her own way the rotten selfish bleeder,
The reason she bosses me I'm 3ft 7 she's 4ft 3.
Besides she's 3 months older than me so I do what I'm told
Cos she is six and a quarter and I'm only six years old


When she's in a good mood she lets me play at cowboys
But she's got her nurses apron on so I'll have to play at hospitals now boys
And there's no fun for me in store she makes me lie in bed for an hour or more ...
Pretends I've got pneumonia ... instead of just a cold
Cos she is six and a quarter and I'm only six years old

Then one day at tea time I said I want to play with me rifle.
Valerie through a tantrum spit right in me trifle
And then she screamed at me, she pulled my hair then kicked me on the knee.
Causing me to spill my tea all on my sausage roll
Coos she is six and a quarter and I'm only six years old

Then one day it occurred to me I was six and a quarter,
I'd caught up with Valerie, could hardly hold me quarter,
I was happy as can be and then me ma explained to me
I could never be as old as Valerie and then began to laugh,
Cos I am six and a quarter but she is six and a half.

Who's that knocking at my door?
Big Valerie Wilkins and she lives next door'
Curses, curses she wants to play at nurses
And I want to play at war.