The advice above about fibre has set me thinking. When I was growing up one of the hazards of using the toilet was to be confronted by one of my younger brother's floaties. Mine always sank but his would have withstood Niagara Falls.

How could this have been the case when we were both eating at the same table? I always thought it was because he tended to gobble his food, and was therefore taking in lots of air with his nourishment, while I carefully chewed mine.

Or maybe he was surreptitiously adding bits of cork to his mashed potato, which would explain both why his handiwork could have been used for liferafts and also why he didn't bother much with chewing.

By the way, Grab, thanks for the sand paper tip for dealing with the snail-mail problem. It sounds a lot simpler than a French chef...all that prima donna stuff would be a bit hard to take.